Background Check Inspired Pickup Lines

Just for fun, our President at MBI Worldwide compiled a list of the best (worst) employee background check, inspired pickup lines.

Seriously though, don’t ever use these at work, or HR will have to get involved!!

  • Baby got back…ground checks.
  • I’d sure love to get some adverse ACTION on with you!
  • Your background check came back clean, but I hope you’re a little dirty!
  • Hey Baby, make sure you sign this authorization form before disclosing.
  • I’m not trying to impress you, but I can be compliant to your desires.
  • If I verify your education, will I find a degree in sexy?
  • Hey There Hot Stuff, I’ve Felon for you.
  • Do you go by an alias, because I’ve been searching for you my whole life and couldn’t find you.
  • I’d like you to sign this consent form, so I can check you out!
  • Mama, you put the O! In the  E.E.O.C!
  • If you give me the last four digits of your social security number, we can really get this thing started.
  • I’d sure like to search your criminal history, in 10 different ways and 10 different states!
  • Sugar, I’ll show you my best practices if you show me yours!
  • Girl, I am F.C.R.A.-ZY for you!
  • Baby, I bet you’re a safe driver cause you’re driving me wild.
  • Honey, I have eighteen years of stellar performance, and a resume to prove it!
  • If I check out your references, will it tell me your deep, dark secrets?
  • The first time I saw you, I knew – I would be willing to report all your indiscretions!
  • My turnaround time for your criminal history is gonna be …long lasting!
  • Hey Boy, you had me at “Multiple Name Variations”.
  • I know you paid for that misdemeanor, cause you’ve got fine written all over you!
  • Your consumer report says you’re a thief.  I agree, cause you’ve stolen my heart!
  • Do you have a pencil?  Cause I want to erase your criminal history and start a future.


Kandi Chapman is President and Founder of MBI Worldwide Background Checks, a NAPBS accredited, HRO Today Baker’s Dozen, global employment background screening company.  She writes articles related to employee background screening, as well as entrepreneurship, human resources and company culture. To request Kandi as a speaker, contact her through MBI Worldwide at

DISCLAIMER – MIDWEST BACKGROUNDS, INC. DBA MBI WORLDWIDE CANNOT AND DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL ADVICE OR COUNSEL. Although MBI strives to support you with alerts and resources regarding critical compliance matters, please understand that MBI Worldwide CANNOT provide legal advice regarding forms, contracts or compliance topics.  Nothing in this statement or any other communications with MBI Worldwide should be construed as legal advice.  If you have legal questions, please consult with legal counsel, who can best advise you on the legalities of obtaining and using consumer reports. 

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